Real conversation alert from last night:
Me (contemplating deep thoughts while sitting on the toilet) “You know, a pear is an apple that wouldn’t. (pause) Do you like my little bit of deep philosophy I just thought up?”
Eve (going about her business): “No, a pear is an apple that couldn’t.”
Me: (short pause) “That’s just derivative of mine.”
Eve: “Yes … but mine is still better.”
“Do I have to eat it?”
So, Eve decided to buy these Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches when she went grocery shopping on Sunday. First sign of trouble … Jonah yesterday.
Jonah: “Dad, do I have to finish this?”
Me: “Your mom paid a lot of money for it. Eat it.”
Jonah: “But dad, it’s gross. I can buy breakfast at school. Please!”
I wasn’t going to force him to eat so I gave him $3 and told him don’t tell his mom. This morning I spy Eve making some more of those things and I tell her what happened with Jonah.
Eve: “I might have made it wrong. You’re supposed to microwave it in a paper towel.”
Me: “I think it was more than that.”
A few minutes later Caleb came down and Eve gave him one of the two that she nuked this morning.
Caleb: “Jesus, this is disgusting. Do I have to finish it?”
Eve: “No. I just finished mine and my stomach is not making happy noises.”
Folks, it’s not a good thing when Eve’s stomach is “not making happy noises.” Thank you Jimmy Dean … may you rot in pre-fabbed sausage and egg sandwich hell.
What is the topic of most of the spam I’m getting now?
TOXIC BELLY BUGS!
http://secure.toxicbellybugfix.com/?CID=TBBFTEL&ADID=tel413&SID=tbbftel4131
The video is more than a bit disturbing. I now have to worry about bed bugs and belly bugs … what is next?
Within a 1 hour time span my mom left 3 messages on the barn answering machine and talked to my dad live …. telling him there is no bread in the house and he needs to get some pdq!
Dad (on phone with mom): “You mean there isn’t even 2 slices for a sandwich at lunch?”
Mom: “NO! Get some bread!”
I think he has since gotten her some bread!
So, this is the 4th story I have been interviewed by new, intrepid YNN reporter Meredith Zaritheny (see: http://hudsonvalley.ynn.com/content/663997/congressman-maloney-s-agricultural-advisory-committee-issues-report/ )
It is now the third story she has interviewed me on the farm. And now the 3rd time my dad has gotten a good look at her. After the first story on the farm, which took place during the late winter in early March she was all bundled up and my dad didn’t really get a good look at her. Afterwards he said to me, “she’s too short, I’d throw her back.” I replied with, “what is she, a fish.” And my dad replied with, “yeah, she’s no keeper.”
Well, after the last 2 stories, after he has gotten a good look at her up close, his position has changed. He chatted with her multiple times on Friday, and told some of his basic stories and jokes.
Later, after she left and as he and I were on our way to spray our onions he said:
“That Meredith, she’s something else … if something happens to Gracie (my mom) I’m going to be giving her a call.”
Now, will this eventually translate into something he couldn’t get from her predecessor, Elaina Athans, a hug? Even a “full hug,” with a pat and a sway?
This site will rock!
Mucking it up in Muckville 