“Whupped em again Josie!”

Real conversation alert from last night:

Me (contemplating deep thoughts while sitting on the toilet) “You know, a pear is an apple that wouldn’t. (pause) Do you like my little bit of deep philosophy I just thought up?”

Eve (going about her business): “No, a pear is an apple that couldn’t.”

Me: (short pause) “That’s just derivative of mine.”

Eve: “Yes … but mine is still better.”