“Do I have to eat it?”

So, Eve decided to buy these Jimmy Dean breakfast sandwiches when she went grocery shopping on Sunday. First sign of trouble … Jonah yesterday.

Jonah: “Dad, do I have to finish this?”
Me: “Your mom paid a lot of money for it. Eat it.”
Jonah: “But dad, it’s gross. I can buy breakfast at school. Please!”

I wasn’t going to force him to eat so I gave him $3 and told him don’t tell his mom. This morning I spy Eve making some more of those things and I tell her what happened with Jonah.

Eve: “I might have made it wrong. You’re supposed to microwave it in a paper towel.”
Me: “I think it was more than that.”

A few minutes later Caleb came down and Eve gave him one of the two that she nuked this morning.

Caleb: “Jesus, this is disgusting. Do I have to finish it?”
Eve: “No. I just finished mine and my stomach is not making happy noises.”

Folks, it’s not a good thing when Eve’s stomach is “not making happy noises.” Thank you Jimmy Dean … may you rot in pre-fabbed sausage and egg sandwich hell.