First, thank you for sending me the new pics as well as the minutia of certain aspects of your existence.
My first question … are you cooking onion in the one picture? I sincerely hope so. They are extremely good for your digestive system!
You live with mom and dad? No way! Anton I hope never calls Gika a dingbat or threatens to send her to the moon!
Money is not the most important aspect of life. Though it is quite important, according to the British philosopher Pink Floyd. As Mr. Floyd once said:
Money it’s a gas
Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash
New car, caviar, four star daydream,
Think I’ll buy me a football team
Money get back
I’m all right Jack keep your hands off my stack.
What do you think about that poetry?
If you were to climb into a mailbox that has to be a pretty big mailbox … like this:
That one you could fit in for sure!
You concluded your e-mail by asking:
“For what purpose do you start dating on the web to me? You just want to be friends or looking for your soul mate? I’m tired of being lonely and looking for a serious relationship, I dream of a good family with good loving husband, a reliable partner in life. Maybe I want too much? But I still believe in love. I want you to trust me and I think that we should be honest with each other. I’m waiting for answers to my questions. This concludes the letter. It is waiting for your answer.”
First, you contacted me! Second, I too believe people should be honest between each other. I especially appreciate honesty from internet suitors that look remarkably similar to hot Hungarian porn stars! But … I digress. Why am I continuing to speak with you? Remember in my last e-mail when I said this:
Currently I am working on a very important/special project. You see, I fear that our entire planet and existence on planet earth is threatened by a dangerous temporal anomaly! You see, time travel research must take place so that centuries down the road we have trained time traveling soldiers and technicians who can deal with any threats to our current time line. To do this time travel research needs to be funded now. I firmly believe that I am the person that funds it. But I am currently broke. I needs funds to do this. So I am pleading with legitimate time travelers to get to me winning Powerball numbers, so I can amass a huge fortune and fund time travel research. This isn’t about me getting rich, this is about protecting the timeline and humanity being the dominant life form on the planet.
Well, here is the honest truth. I really am a time traveler. Here are pictures of me suiting up and prepping to engage in a temporal jump:
When you successfully return from a time jump you typically land on the top of Ford Bronco:
I am currently stuck in a very dangerous temporal paradox that threatens all of mankind … not just now but in the past and thousands of years in the future. You see, though I am currently making jumps in time, time travel research has not been funded now. That means with a lack of funding time travel research will not take place and not lead to the creation of the “Titor Device:
Do you get the import of this? I am in a loop and I cannot escape.
Further, I am now dealing with ravenous creatures from the Beta Quadrant. They are from our time but a number of parsecs away. They feed on human flesh, and Cheetos. They pose an incredible treat as well.
Do you know hand to hand combat and can you twerk? The twerking has nothing to do with this other stuff … just curious.
Please reply with what weapons and hand to hand combat training you have and how much working capital you currently posses and can obtain in the near future? Can you obtain technology that will allow you to scramble future transmissions? The National Security Agency has been compromised and is aware of some of these activities.
The following is a coded transmission for my friends in the resistance:
Lavender Blue, Dilly Dilly
Gordie Howe with the hat trick
Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids
If I kill all the golfers they will lock me up and throw away the key
To the Batcave
End of coded transmission
Anxiously awaiting your response!